When Feyma arrived in the USA, in January of 1990, she had never driven before. She really did not want to drive.
Really, I think a big part of it was that she was not really aware of how life in the States was and that if she did not know how to drive, life would be very difficult. It all changed, though, when we had our first child. I was working, somebody had to work to support us! When we had an infant, one day, Feyma was cutting his toenails and cut maybe a bit too close and he started bleeding! She freaked out! I was at work, at least an hour away. Feyma wanted to take our son to the hospital but had really no way to do it, because she could not drive.
As I recall, I think that Feyma called my Mom, and she came and assisted, maybe took Feyma and our child to the hospital, or she helped take care of the situation in some way. Later, though, Feyma told me that the bleeding incident scared her a lot and made her realize that she needed to learn how to drive. I was not happy that it took a perceived emergency, but I really wanted Feyma to learn to drive, so that made me happy!
The very next weekend, we set out for me to teach her how to drive. It scared me about as much as she had been scared when our son was bleeding! LOL. I think we tried it for two days. I had never taught anybody to drive, she had never been behind the wheel. It was a situation that was destined for problems! We avoided any accidents, barely, but I soon learned that it might be better to hire a professional. So, it was off to driving school for Feyma, with a private instructor!
It did not take long, Feyma knew how to drive. We got a second car for her to be able to get around. The driving school did a good job. The main thing was that we still had a happy marriage! If I had continued with the driving tutoring, I think our marriage may have ended early! Either by death or divorce! Just kidding about the death part.
Anyway, it really taught me (and Feyma, I suppose) that in some incidents it is better to keep peace in the marriage and let an outside person take care of something stressful like that!
Over the years, Feyma became a very good driver and was fairly fearless about going anywhere, even in the downtown areas of large cities and such. It made me happy that she was able to handle emergency situations without worry. It put both of our minds at ease.
It is kind of a mundane thing, but how we handle such things is an indication of whether we have what it takes to last the long term. That was a long time ago, and we are still hanging in there.
Funny thing is, we moved to the Philippines in 2000. We each got a driver’s license here. I drove for around 15 years, but now neither of us drives here. I find it easier and less hassle to use public transportation, and she does too.
